So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
