dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize