yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
