dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
