I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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