I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
