This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize