he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
