On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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