i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
