I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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