when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
