I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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