Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
