First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The Olympian is in my bed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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