HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
