I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
