I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
