I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
