I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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