I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
