the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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