you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
