She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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