I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
