it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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