Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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