Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
