just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize