i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
