Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
