R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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