she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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