i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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