A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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