Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
