how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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