You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
