I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
