Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
