If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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