on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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