I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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