he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
