dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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