(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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