i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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