like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
