do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize