Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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