i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The feeling are messing with the penis
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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