you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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