Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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