Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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