I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
