You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
