I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry about my life...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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