toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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