wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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