PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
