WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
