physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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