I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
this just has baby written all over it
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My dick has a subreddit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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