i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
