can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
