I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
