I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
