i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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