Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
