walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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