Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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