It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
