Kiss
Puke
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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