babies were throwing up all over the place
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
