Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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