Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
