she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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