Say something about gay babies.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
NoShamevember. You game?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize