I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want her autograph on my taint
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
